Parenting Skills Insights and Observations at Secaucus Schools

On arriving at the Performing Arts Center in Secaucus, New Jersey to speak to parents last night, seeing the flag at half-staff was a reminder that life is fragile. The flag was lowered to honor Marine Pfc. Miguel A. Marcial III, 19, a 2005 Secaucus High School graduate, who died on April 1, 2007 in the Anbar province, Iraq.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Miguel. We must always remember the sacrifices of those who serve in our armed forces.

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It was a privilege to present some insights on Parenting Skills to a group of concerned and enthusiastic (and exhausted!) parents of Secaucus Schools last night. Their dedication to their children was evident as they shared their own insights and concerns. We learned alot from each other about the challenges of parenting in the brief fifty minutes we were together.

Following are two items from the presentation for your review and reflection:

[Reprinted from the Powerpoint presentation]

Model of a Parent in Action: Involved, Informed, Inspiring

• Reasonableness
• Kindness/Calmness – "Let nothing disturb you."
• Charity above all
• Patience – especially with corrections
• Prevention not Repression
• Corrections through expression of disappointment (only effective when love and trust are the foundation)
• Sincere interest in things important to the child
• Earn the child's trust

Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security,
    they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness,
    they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.