Thursday, October 17, 2024

Twilight of Life Remembrance: Forgiveness, Healing, Kindness

It is my privilege to visit senior residence homes, as I did yesterday, administering the Holy Eucharist to about 35 seniors each time in the twilight of their lives.

Yesterday included a visit to Richard, in the last hours of his life, to offer prayers, blessing and the Eucharist for his journey to eternity. 

The visit was requested by his beloved friend after my Eucharistic service, who solemnly wept while we prayed at Richard's bedside.

The experience with Richard was profoundly spiritual, humbling, and a sobering reminder of mortality.

And then today, coming across a deeply meaningful article on X, which opened the floodgates of emotions within my soul.

The sentiments of the article are a poignant reminder of how fleeting this life is.  It must inspire the divine mandate of loving-kindness, forgiveness, and devotion to loved ones and neighbors, and it is as follows:

Fear of Parent's Old Age
"There is a break in the family history, where the ages accumulate and overlap, and the natural order makes no sense: it’s when the child becomes the parent of their parent." "It’s when the father grows older and begins to move as if he were walking through fog. Slowly, slowly, imprecisely. "It’s when one of the parents who once held your hand firmly when you were little no longer wants to be alone. It’s when the father, once strong and unbeatable, weakens and takes two breaths before rising from his seat. "It’s when the father, who once commanded and ordered, now only sighs, only groans, and searches for where the door and window are—every hallway now feels distant. "It’s when one of the parents, once willing and hardworking, struggles to dress themselves and forgets to take their medication. "And we, as their children, will do nothing but accept that we are responsible for that life.

“And He said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.’” Mt: 18: 3

"The life that gave birth to us depends on our life to die in peace. "Every child is the parent of their parent's death. Perhaps the old age of a father or mother is, curiously, the final pregnancy.
"Our last lesson. An opportunity to return the care and love they gave us for decades. "And just as we adapted our homes to care for our babies, blocking power outlets and setting up playpens, we will now rearrange the furniture for our parents. "The first transformation happens in the bathroom. We will be the parents of our parents, the ones who now install a grab bar in the shower. "The grab bar is emblematic. The grab bar is symbolic. The grab bar inaugurates the "unsteadiness of the waters." "Because the shower, simple and refreshing, now becomes a storm for the old feet of our protectors.
"We cannot leave them for even a moment. "The home of someone who cares for their parents will have grab bars along the walls. And our arms will extend in the form of railings. "Aging is walking while holding onto objects; aging is even climbing stairs without steps. We will be strangers in our own homes. We will observe every detail with fear and unfamiliarity, with doubt and concern. "We will be architects, designers, frustrated engineers. How did we not foresee that our parents would get sick and need us? "We will regret the sofas, the statues, and the spiral staircase. We will regret all the obstacles and the carpet. "Happy is the child who becomes the parent of their parent before their death, and unfortunate is the child who only appears at the funeral and doesn't say goodbye a little each day. "My friend Joseph Klein accompanied his father until his final moments. "In the hospital, the nurse was maneuvering to move him from the bed to the stretcher, trying to change the sheets when Joe shouted from his seat: Let me help you. He gathered his strength and, for the first time, took his father into his arms. He placed his father's face against his chest. "He cradled his father, consumed by cancer: small, wrinkled, fragile, trembling. He held him for a long time, the time equivalent to his childhood, the time equivalent to his adolescence, a long time, an endless time. By Your Side Nothing Hurts Rocking his father back and forth. Caressing his father. Calming his father. And he said softly: "' I'm here, I'm here, Dad!' What a father wants to hear at the end of his life is that his child is there." "I love you, Dad, wherever you are, I always think of you, I will never forget you!"

Final Reflection

This sobering post on X reminded me of a moment in 2014 when I received an unexpected call from a residence home in California.

During the call, I was told that my father had just days to live, and had expressed his remorse at abandoning my sister Cathy and I when we were children, over 40 years ago.

Compounding this remorse, he was deeply sorry that he chose to be incommunicado. At times we only heard from him, or knew his whereabouts every few years, or sometimes decades.

I asked the attendant who called me for his address in California, and on the next morning flew cross-country from New Jersey. My visit allowed time for prayer, and to assure him of not only my forgiveness, but of God's.

My sincere prayer is that sharing this reflection inspires bridges in families where there is brokenness, and that we learn to be wounded healers, as our time on earth passes in the blink of an eye. Author quoted text unknown - Text (before Vincent J. Bove final reflections) on X by Fr. Charbel Abernethy @philokalia_min - photo w/out attribution noted, Oct. 17, 2024.

Photo: Vincent with Li Nation children and teachers, Dec. 6, 2018, Li Nation, China. (Reawakening America LLC)

Note Well: Li County or Nation is a county in Hunan Province, China under the the prefecture-level city of Changde.  (Wikipedia)

About Vincent


Vincent J. Bove is a national speaker, author, and confidant. 

He has authored eighteen cover stories for the National Association of Chiefs of Police Magazine, and a total of 325 articles for numerous law enforcement and security publications. 

His most recent books are Reawakening America© and Listen to Their Cries©.

Bove is recipient of the FBI Director’s Community Leadership Award, and former confidant for players from two world championship New York Yankee teams.

He developed Leadership Principles: Crisis Planning, Community Partnerships, Violence Prevention© keynotes to safeguard New York City at sites including:

·         Museums hosted by the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA)

·         Corporations hosted by The New York Stock Exchange

·         Hospitals hosted by Rockefeller University

·         Properties hosted by The Union Club of New York

·         Universities hosted by Columbia University, the New York Athletic Club and Fordham University.

Bove has conducted extensive leadership presentations for the FBI, the United States Military Academy, law enforcement, educators, security professionals, and students nationwide. www.vincentbove.com

“We must all serve as catalysts to protect our workplaces, schools, communities, public spaces, and houses of worship.  Public safety demands leadership, vigilance, and collaboration.  Security demands comprehensive enhancements, on-going training, effective response to warning signs, and building bridges with law enforcement, private security, and every member of the community.”  Vincent J Bove

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Serving the Poor

On May 2, 2014, I authored an article titled America’s Forgotten Homeless: Awareness, Compassion, Dignity for my Reawakening the Nation column.

The article was also posted in The Sentinel, and shared electronically with my audience of educators, students, military personnel, law enforcement officials, and community leaders.

In the article, I highlighted an unimaginable sight in New York City, one of the planet’s richest cities.

Because of its importance, and relevance years later, I believe this excerpt that captures my emotions of the sight, deserves a spotlight:

“As one walks the New York City streets, the homeless must touch our conscience and inspire action.

"Although throughout the city and often can be easily circumvented, there are moments when kindness toward the homeless stops us in our tracks.

“One such experience for me was seeing the compassion of the Missionaries of Charity, commonly known as the Sisters of Mother Teresa, tending to the homeless near Central Park’s entrance at Columbus Circle.

 “Although one normally associates these sisters caring for the poorest of the poor in the slums of Calcutta, here they were in the heart of New York, one of civilizations most affluent societies, home to the richest people on the planet.

“The Missionaries of Charity, serving the homeless of New York City-the world’s epicenter of wealth, culture, education, tourism and diversity. Here were the sisters, serving a wake-up call to America’s conscience – reminding us of the suffering on New York City streets.

“America must respond to this anguish of our human family and triumph with full force, courage, compassion and dignity.”

Thanksgiving Day 2021

The experience of that day was seared into my conscience.

Now, eight years later, it is reawakened as I visited Saint Augustine’s Parish in Newark on Thanksgiving Day.  The parish is the home to the Missionary Sisters of Charity.

The purpose of my visit today was to assist the sisters with their commitment to the Corporal Works of Mercy, specifically to feed the hungry.

Some may consider the efforts of my wife and I, who hold the work of the Sisters with the highest admiration, as noble.

But our efforts pale in significance to the inspiring work the Sisters do every day for the poor, not only in Newark, but throughout the world.   They are carrying out the work of their foundress, Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta.  In my heart, there is no doubt that Saint Mother Teresa, a model of holiness and love for the poor is smiling down upon them.

The Youth of America

Complementing the work of the sisters today, were a group of young people who represent the best of America.

These youth from Ramsey High School, Immaculate Heart Academy, and New Jersey City University, along with their parents truly represent character.  Each of them gave of their time generously to help the poor, hungry, and homeless of Newark today.

An additional selection from the aforementioned article, as it remains relevant to the events of this memorable day in Newark, also deserves a spotlight:

“America is as great as its commitment to respecting the dignity of each person especially the poor. All human beings must be celebrated and we must always see beyond superficial externals of social status, humbly understanding we are all the human family.

“Whenever a human being is ostracized, distressed or impoverished, a nation must respond with moral courage, compassion, and resolve. When the poor are a burden, inconvenience, or annoyance-or treated with discriminatory indignation for their hardship-the nation is derailed and must be reawakened.”

Hopefully these reflections, and more importantly the admirable work of the Missionary Sisters of Charity, and the outstanding students and parents who assisted today, may serve as a wakeup call.  

The message of each of them is clear - living a life of charity, character, and community is a sacred privilege and the heart of reawakening America.

"God has identified himself with the hungry, the sick, the naked, the homeless; hunger not only for bread, but for love, for care, to be somebody to someone; nakedness, not for clothing only, but nakedness of that compassion that very few people give to the unknown; homelessness, not only just for a shelter made from stone but for that homelessness that comes from having no one to call your own."  Mother Teresa

Related:

America's Forgotten Homeless: Awareness, Compassion, Dignity

Missionaries of Charity (The Sisters of Saint Mother Teresa) Official Website

About the Author

Vincent J. Bove, CPP, is a national speaker and author on issues critical to America with over 300 published works and four books.  Bove is recipient of the FBI Director's Community Leadership Award, and former confident of the New York Yankees.  
He is co-founder of Global Security Resolutions, and served as spokesperson for a coalition of Virginia Tech tragedy families of victims. His most recent books are Reawakening America and Listen To Their Cries.

For more information: twitter@vincentjbove

© Reawakening America, PO Box 262, Convent Station, NJ  07961

The Sentinel, official electronic newsletter of Reawakening America, LLC – All Rights Reserved.

POST SCRIPT: Chinese Reflections by Lily Bove

My wife beautifully captured the heart of the day and posted it to share with friends and family in China:

Chinese Language:

2021-11-25,周四。感恩节
在这个美国文化中最重要的象征家庭团聚、亲人相聚的节日,先生选择了做主的工作一一去当地教会的慈善食堂服务,与那些无家可归者共度节日。
    这个位于美国新泽西州Newark 的天主教堂附设的慈善食堂,是由“特蕾莎”修女会组织的,专为当地穷人和流浪汉提供免费午餐的地方。一年四季,每日中午提供,没有身份查询,来者不拒。食品来源大部分来源于一些商家的常年赞助。每日的套餐基本不变,有热狗,面包,沙拉,粗粮,水果,甜点,汤类等。食物种类多,供应也丰富。通常工作人员也会把剩余的食品分配给大家,基本上保障了被救助者们有两餐的食物。
   我和先生曾是那里的志愿者。后来因为搬家,就选择了就近服务。虽然没有再去做工,但也会推荐一些捐助者去邦助她们。当时隔六年后,先生再去那里时,修女们仍然记得我,问起我的情况,并为我祈祷。此情此景,令我十分感动。感谢感恩主的灵在我们彼此的心中,行动中,灵魂里。
  图一是人间天使,穷苦病弱人们的救护神“特蕾莎”:图二、三是今年的志愿者和修女们;图四、五是需要食物救助的人们;图六、七是六年前先生和我去做工的留念。
    求主保佑、看顾天下的穷苦人们,尤其是那些呼唤他的名求邦助,愿意悔改更新、信靠他的人们。阿门。

English Translation:

2021-11-25, Thursday. Thanksgiving.

In this most important symbol of family reunion in American culture, my husband chose to work for God - to serve in the charity Soup Kitchen of a local church, and to spend the holiday with the homeless.

The charity was at the Catholic Church in Newark, New Jersey - organized by Mother Teresa's Order to provide free lunch for the local poor and homeless. Available at noon every day, all year round, no identity checks, all are welcome. 

Most of the food comes from the perennial sponsorship of businesses. The daily package is basically the same, there are hot dogs, bread, salad, coarse grains, fruits, desserts, soup and so on. The variety of food is great and the supply is abundant. Usually the staff will also distribute surplus food to everyone, basically ensuring that the needy have two meals of food.

My husband and I were volunteers there in the past. Later because of the epidemic, we have not been able to assist them, but now they needed assistance. 

When the visit today, years later, the nuns remembered both of us, and promised prayers for both of us. I am very moved. 

Thank you for the Spirit of God in the hearts, actions, and souls.

The first picture is Saint Mother Teresa, an angel for the poor and sick. The second and third pictures are the volunteers and nuns this year. Pics four and five are people in need of food aid; Pictures six and seven are mementos of my husband and I working there before the pandemic.

May God bless and look upon the poor under heaven, especially those who call upon His name for help, who are willing to live and trust in Him. Amen.          Lily Bove

Note Well:

After our collaborative effort feeding the poor at the Saint Augustine Soup Kitchen, two of the sisters with two volunteers and I, filled a van with about 50 hot turkey dinners.

We traveled throughout the city, including the Newark Penn Station area and other locations where the homeless gather, offering meals with our Happy Thanksgiving sentiments.

The meals were gone within an hour, and the response from the people was profoundly humbling - gratitude, humility, and courtesy.


“I have come to realize that it is being unwanted - that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.”

 Mother Teresa

PS: The Missionary Sisters of Charity, commonly referred to as the Sisters of Saint Mother Theresa, asked me to play Santa Claus for their 2021 Christmas Party.

It was the joy of a lifetime, entering an assembly with over 100 children and their parents, at Saint Augustine's in Newark, and distributing Christmas gifts. I will never forget the expressions of awe and appreciation in their faces. 

Photos:

1. Lily Bove assisting the Missionary Sisters of Charity at their Shop Kitchen, Saint Augustine's Parish, Newark, NJ, Feb. 12, 2017. (Vincent J. Bove)

2. Missionaries of Charity, Columbus Circle area near entrance to Central Park, New York, NY, Sept. 4, 2011. (Vincent J. Bove)

3. Photo collage from events of Thanksgiving Day, 2021 at Saint Augustine's Soup Kitchen. (Vincent J., Bove)

4. Student volunteers from Ramsey High School, Immaculate Heart Academy, and Jersey City University volunteering to help the poor on Thanksgiving, 2021 with Missionary Sister of Charity. (Vincent J. Bove)

5. Mother Teresa serves food to the poor in Calcutta, India, in October 1979. (Photo by Calogero Cascio/Getty Images)

6. Reawakening America Collage, and pics of Vincent J. Bove keynote, PHAMA event, Champion, PA, Oct. 20, 2017. (Lily Bove)

7. Vincent Bove, Sister Lazerena, Lily Bove (left to right) Saint Augustine's Soup Kitchen, Newark, NJ, Feb. 12, 2017 (Courtesy Reawakening America LLC)

8. Missionary of Charity Sisters with Thanksgiving Day volunteers at their Soup Kitchen, Saint Augustine's Newark, NJ, Nov. 25, 2021.  (Courtesy Reawakening America LLC)

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Friday, August 20, 2021

America’s School Issues and Response: Coronavirus, Security, Character, Academics


As America begins a new school year, security and safety are once again paramount.

Now, the security issues including violence prevention are compounded by safety issues due to COVID-19.

During the last twelve years, my Reawakening the Nation articles for The Chief of Police has addressed issues including leadership and public safety.

These efforts have been to protect educational communities by integrating best practices with the preventive pedagogy.

As schools open, we must remain vigilant to ensure they are not only secure but safe havens.  This is the foundation to character development and academic excellence in America.

Safeguarding Educational Communities from the COVID-19

To highlight the explosive gravity of protecting students, a report from WDSU New Orleans deserves attention.

The station reported on Aug. 6, 2021 that more than 3,000 Louisiana children tested positive for COVID-19 in just four days.

Governor John Bel of Louisiana stated that more than 6,000 children in the state now have COVID-19.  He also stressed this is why children should wear masks when they return to school.

An Abundance of Caution

Although there are differing viewpoints with the hot-button issue of safeguarding our schools from COVID-19, my opinion is built on the philosophy of an abundance of caution.

These recommendations of one medical professional, Ashish K. Jha, M.D., MPH, Dean of the Brown School of Public Heath, Professor of Health Services, Policy, and Practice clearly supports the abundance of caution principle. 

Dr. Jha, a globally recognized expert on pandemic preparedness and response, detailed these in a Twitter thread on Aug. 8, 2021:

·         “My kids' schools open in a month   Have been talking to school leaders (unions, superintendents) across the US about how to keep schools safe. We have 5 tools. And if we use some combination of them, we can get all kids back to school safely, full-time. So what are they?

·         “1. Vaccines    Serious about safe in-person education?   Mandate vaccines for all adults in schools (with standard exceptions) there is increasing consensus on this And consider mandates for kids over 12  This would protect kids who can't get the shot   2/7

·         “2. Ventilate   SARS-CoV2 spreads through the air  Congress gave Billions of $ to upgrade schools.  Schools have had a year to do it   Upgrades largely cheap (in-room portable air filters, opening windows)  Any school that hasn't improved ventilation needs a change in leadership 3/7

·         “3. Masks    This is unnecessarily controversial    People – can we please stop fighting about this?

Masking helps   Cloth masks help a little   Higher quality masks (KF94, etc.) should be considered in high transmission areas  They are cheap and widely available   4/7

·         “4. Testing   We now have so much testing capability and capacity   Once a week pooled testing is cheap and easy   Lots of alternatives including cheap rapid antigen tests   We have plenty and schools have plenty of money   No excuse not to do testing        5/7

·         “5. Distancing    As delta surges, avoid super crowded assembly halls, indoor concerts, etc  Lunchrooms can be managed with a little distancing, open windows or being outside This will be critical over next month or so as delta peaks and begins to climb down   6/7

·         “So that’s the list

1.       Vaccinate

2.       Ventilate

3.       Masks

4.       Tests

5.      And avoid indoor crowding   Each adds protection   None alone enough in high transmission areas  You don’t have to do them all   But more you do, the more you keep folks safe   And ensure safe in-person learning   End” 7/7   

     (Note Well: Twitter communication is microblogging, restricted to short tweets and making a quick point, so although Dr. Jha has over 200 published research papers, the style of making Tweets is grammatically imperfect.)

It should be noted that by taking these measures we are mitigating the possibility of outbreaks.  Nevertheless, the virus is dangerous and there are no guarantees – additional measures will be required if the virus accelerates.

School Security, Violence Prevention, Character, Academics

Here is a summary from a brief summary of my works addressing the other issues critical to American schools.

America School Violence Demands Moral Courage


The comments of Paige Curry, a Santa Fe student, during a television interview memorialize a heart-wrenching commentary on our school violence pandemic.

Shortly after being escorted safely out of Santa Fe High School, she told reporters that she struggled to overcome her fear by staying calm.

Responding to the 22nd school shooting in 2018, Paige stated “It’s been happening everywhere, I’ve always kind of felt that eventually it would happen here, too.”

Wake-up America, it’s time for moral courage, ethical leadership, and the reawakening of the nation.

Mass Attacks in Public Spaces Demand America’s Vigilance

The report from the United States Secret Service titled “The Final Report And Findings Of The Safe School Initiative: Implications For Prevention Of School Attacks In The United States” is a timeless classic.

The document deserves to be studied in its entirety, but it highlights 10 key findings, which are as follows:

        Incidents of targeted violence at school rarely were sudden, impulsive acts.

        Prior to most incidents, other people knew about the attacker’s idea and/or plan to attack.

        Most attackers did not threaten their targets directly prior to advancing the attack.

        There is no accurate or useful “profile” of students who engaged in targeted school violence.

        Most attackers engaged in some behavior prior to the incident that caused others concern or indicated a need for help.

        Most attackers had difficulty coping with significant losses or personal failures. Moreover, many had considered or attempted suicide.

        Many attackers felt bullied, persecuted, or injured by others prior to the attack.

        Most attackers had access to and had used weapons prior to the attack.

        In many cases, other students were involved in some capacity.

        Despite prompt law enforcement responses, most shooting incidents were stopped by means other than law enforcement intervention.

Five Preliminary Tips for Improving American School Security

Schools must provide the leadership to instill a culture of character.

Developing students with hearts of character built on the pillars of honesty, respect, civility, and patriotism must be paramount throughout America’s educational communities.

Character is critical for transforming America and ending its culture of violence. Character education must be consistent, exemplified, and rewarded in our schools.

American School Violence Requires a Response of Courage, Commitment, and Community

The school resource officer (SRO) is a priceless component of violence prevention and character education for our schools. This community policing initiative affords the opportunity not only for violence prevention and education but also promotes a positive rapport between law enforcement and students.

Schools should do everything possible to have an SRO program and law enforcement should be fully committed with the most qualified, trained, certified, and dedicated professionals available.

Carnage of Innocents in America Demands Moral Courage


As the Columbine tragedy fades from the list of America’s most deadly mass shootings, tragedies not only continue, but have become more deadly.

Some of the deadliest mass shootings in the nation have occurred in the last five years, and we continue to witness America’s flag lowered to half-staff.

America, “the land of the free and home of the brave” must not allow these mass shootings to define us. We must also refuse to allow apathy, mediocrity or indifference to rule our times.

America must never accept an attempt to banish these tragedies to back page news.

School Bullying: A Matter of Life and Death

Educators must familiarize themselves with the preventive system – not the repressive system – of education which includes the following:

        Educators are admired in their dedication to the youth entrusted to their care

        Educators are respected as individuals with character

        Character is the edifice of the preventive system

        Vigilance is exercised to prevent inappropriate behavior

        Improvements in behavior are motivated because students know the educator cares about them and is approachable and available when needed

        Speedy measured intervention in response to warning signs takes place due to vigilance and awareness

        Educators earn the admiration of youth

        Discipline can be as effective as an expression of disappointment or a reproachful look because there is loyalty from the young people to the educator who cares for them

America’s Schools: Security, Character, Academics

The guide “Early Warning, Timely Response: A Guide to Safe Schools” by the U. S. Department of Education is an essential document that law enforcement and the educational community should be familiar with.

This classic document includes intervention for student warning signs including the following:

        Social withdrawal

        Excessive feelings of isolation and being alone

        Being a victim of violence

        Feelings of being picked on and persecuted

        Low school interest/poor academic performance

        Uncontrolled anger

        Patterns of impulsive and chronic hitting, intimidating, and bullying

        Expression of violence in writings

        History of discipline problems

        Past history of violent aggressive behavior

        Drug and alcohol use

        Affiliation with gangs

        Intolerance for differences and prejudicial attitudes

        Inappropriate access to, possession of, and use of firearms

        Serious threats of violence

 Final Reflections

As schools open throughout America for another school year, we must be fully dedicated to safety especially related to COVID-19, as well as security principles, character education, and academic excellence.

We must reflect visionary leadership.  We must also inspire character through personal example, and reward academic excellence.  Then, we will be on the path to reawakening the nation.

About the Author

Vincent J. Bove, CPP, founder of Reawakening America LLC, is a national speaker and author with over 300 published works.  Bove is recipient of the FBI Director's Community Leadership Award and former confident of the New York Yankees.  He is a partner with Global Security Resolutions LLC and served as spokesperson for a coalition of Virginia Tech tragedy victim’s families. His most recent books are Reawakening America and Listen To Their Cries.

For more information see www.vincentbove.com or twitter@vincentjbove

PHOTOS

1This article was released as the cover story for The Chief of Police, Fall 2021 and distributed hard copy to police chiefs and law enforcement executives nationwide.  It was Bove's 16th cover story for the magazine.

2. (SRO) with students (Public Domain, Credit Aurora City, Colorado.

3. The Chief of Police cover, Spring 2018 | Volume XXXIII | Number 1.

4. The Chief of Police cover, Fall 2018 | Volume XXXIII | Number 3

5. Bergenfield High School evacuation drill conducted for security vulnerability assessment, Nov. 9, 2009. (Vincent J. Bove)

6. Student wearing mask at school (Public Domain, Credit CDC)

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