On Friday, January 10, 2025, I was privileged to serve the
FDNY as their keynote speaker for their Peer Support professionals.
The event took place at the FDNY EMS Academy CFR Training facility
in Fort Totten, New York.
These remarkable men and women, many with decades of service
with the FDNY, are truly the unsung heroes of our communities.
Their service must be forever appreciated. Our communities
thrive because of their altruism, and their experiences as firefighters and EMS
personnel are priceless.
Even now, many of these individuals, although retired, are still dedicated to serving their FDNY family. The qualities they exemplify –
compassion, empathy, and dedication, through a listening ear and encouraging
word, are inspirational.
A Note of Gratitude
Thanks to the visionary leadership of former NYPD
Commissioner Thomas G. Donlon, and FDNY Commissioner Robert Tucker, this first
of its kind initiative in the history of the departments became a reality.
The initiative began with the NYPD, with my appointment as their
first Honorary Law Enforcement Motivational Speaker.
This appointment took place after my development of a
customized and unprecedented program titled The NYPD: Leading Through a
National Crisis.
The program stands on the pillars of Ethical Leadership, Building
Morale, Emotional Strength, and Suicide Prevention.
This new phase of the initiative is titled NYPD / FDNY:
Operation Resiliency. It stands on interdependent pillars of ethical leadership, building morale, emotional
strength, and suicide prevention.
The California Fires: Let Us Pause
Before beginning my keynote, we took time for a moment of silence to honor our firefighters, emergency service personnel,
law enforcement, and all suffering from the fires in California.
These fires are a traumatizing national calamity, and America
must respond with full force devotion through prayer and action.
The scope of the fires that have battered Los Angeles and surrounding areas of Southern California are still unfolding. As of today, there have been at least thirteen people killed, tens of thousands of acres of land burned, and over 1,000 structures destroyed.
The damage is estimated to be in the tens of billions of dollars.
Dedication
Today's presentation was dedicated to the solemn memory of first responders who died by suicide:
- NYPD Officer Colin Rossiter, 2023
- FDNY EMT John S. Mondello, 2020
- NYPD Detective James F. Carberry, 1938
Background
Before today, I had the privilege of speaking at various
NYPD events as their Honorary Law Enforcement Motivational Speaker.
Each of these events are memorialized in my published works
for The Sentinel, as well as two for the National Association of Chiefs of
Police. They are as follows:
· The
NYPD: Leading Through a National Crisis © (NACOP)
· NYPD
Employee Assistance Unit: Leading Through a National Crisis © (NACOP)
· NYPD
Sergeants: Leading Through a National Crisis ©
· NYPD
Lieutenants and Captains: Leading Through a National Crisis ©
· NYPD
American Legion Post 460: My Standard Will Remain Perfection © (Remarks)
· NYPD
Police Self Support Group: Respect, Honor, Resiliency ©
· NYPD
and FDNY Chaplains: Purpose, Service, Respect ©
· America’s
Law Enforcement Suicide Crisis: Issues and Response ©
· NYPD
Police Academy: Empowering Lieutenants to Prevent Suicide ©
· NYPD
/ FDNY: Operation Resiliency ©
The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen
During my presentation today, I took time to share these inspirational excerpts from The Wounded Healer, and provide my commentary:
· “When our wounds cease to be a source of
shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”
· “Nobody
escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically,
emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.”
· “Our
service will not be perceived as authentic, unless it comes from a heart
wounded by the suffering we encounter in others.”
· “The
main question is not ‘How can we hide our wounds?’ so we don’t have to be
embarrassed, but ‘How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?”
· “To enter into solidarity with a suffering
person does not mean that we have to talk with that person about our own
suffering. We must be sympathetic
listeners as speaking about our own pain is seldom helpful for someone who is
in pain.”
· “A wounded healer is someone who can listen
[and empathize] to a person in pain without having to speak about his or her
own wounds.”
· “When we have experienced pain, we can listen
with great attentiveness and compassion to another in pain without spotlighting
our own wounds.”
· “Mostly, it is better not to direct a
suffering person’s attention to ourselves. We have to trust that our own
damaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole being. The
empathetic listening leads to healing."
The presentation focused on empowering FDNY Peer Support to
be ethical protectors and wounded healers.
These qualities are personified by character, empathy, and
compassion for others.
My goal was to provide the tools for them to better manage stress and
emotional challenges, inherent not only with the FDNY, but with first responders
nationwide.
Destigmatizing Suicide and Mental Health
We spent time today identifying the reality of suicide
among first responders.
This tragic reality was emphasized by a headline from
California on Nov. 7, 2023 in the Los Angeles Times:
"Four Current & former L.A. Sheriff's Department
employees died by suicide in a 24-hour span"
By honestly addressing the issue, our goal was to
destigmatize suicide and mental health illness.
We defined stigma as follows:
“The negative social attitude attached to a
characteristic of an individual that may be regarded as a mental, physical, or
social deficiency.
“A stigma implies social disapproval and can
lead unfairly to discrimination against & exclusion of the
individual.” American Association of
Suicidology
Normalizing mental health treatment and combating myths were noted as necessary corrective measures to destigmatize suicide and mental health issues.
Ethical Protectors / Wounded Healers Approach
As a practitioner for over 40 years of the world-renowned
psychiatrist, Dr. Conrad Baars, I highlighted
his pedagogy which includes the
following:
Only affirmed individuals, not necessarily mental health
doctors or therapists (although they have their place and at times are irrefutably necessary), with sound emotional fortitude can be catalysts of
compassion and healing.
These individuals instill healing for unaffirmed
personalities and depravation disorders.
Affirmation provides a transformative power by recognizing,
appreciating, and igniting qualities of individuals who will heal and thrive.
This is not a technique or certification. Rather, it is only possible by those who are
emotionally solid and affirmed.
“Your saving lives of
those who save lives.” Chief Louis
Ghione, North Arlington Police Department, retd.
The Sentinel of the Unknown Soldier
Inspired by the honor guard of the Tomb of the Unknown
Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington, D.C., I encouraged the Peer Support Professionals to apply these words from the sentinel’s creed to their profession:
“My dedication to this sacred duty is total and
wholehearted. In the responsibility bestowed upon me, never will I falter.”
Final Reflections: The Liberation Monument
Surrounded by the significance of Ellis Island, the Statue
of Liberty and the New York skyline is the Liberation Monument in Liberty View
Park, Jersey City, N.J.
Designed by sculptor Nathan Rapaport, this inspirational
statue depicts a World War II American soldier carrying a survivor from a
concentration camp.
This image moves the soul to reflect on the values of
compassion, character and courage.
A photo of this magnificent monument was shared with the Peer Support Professionals.
It was my sincere hope to inspire them to connect with the
great Americans of our history, and uphold their legacy through their
privileged profession.
Leadership is pivotal for our first responders, whom are a national
treasure. We must be fully dedicated and committed to assisting one another. This will lead to America's rightful destiny as a beacon
of moral leadership for the world.
May the FDNY Peer Support carry the torch of ethical
leadership, and continue their admirable service as wounded healers.
Note Well: A note of recognition to FDNY Lieutenant Andrew Kane, Deputy Director, Bureau of Health Services Counseling Service Unit. His leadership with meeting with NYPD officials and myself to develop an action plan which included today's event deserves sincere appreciation.
FDNY Peer Support Bove Jan. 10, 2025 Presentation Survey
Responses
· “The
presentation was well versed, and hit key elements on how to assist first
responders in crisis.” FDNY, 46 years of
service
· “Very
informative and well-presented.” FDNY, 25 years of service
· “Reminded
us of the importance of our work, and what we are here for, to help our
colleagues.” FDNY, 37 years of service,
12 as a Peer Counselor
· “The
coverage of suicide prevention was appreciated – very necessary as I have had
friends who have died by suicide.” FDNY, 16 years of service
· “Emotional
and truthful, and pleased to have this support.” FDNY, 25 years of service
· “Impressive,
good information in a concise time frame.” FDNY, 17 years of service
· “Well-presented
and reaffirmed the value of what we do, and reminder of being there when we are
urgently needed.” FDNY, 39 years of service
· “Very
insightful, I feel better about my role.” FDNY, 28 years of service
· “Very
relevant and necessary to give positive energy in a world that is full of
negativity.” FDNY, 31 years of service
· “Most
impressed by the affirmation, needed by everyone.” FDNY, 50 years of service
· “Excellent
and heartwarming.” FDNY, 31 years of service
Peer Support Resources
Upon returning back to the FDNY Counseling Services Unit
after my January 8 firehouse visits, I found this valuable booklet published by
the unit titled Where to Turn: Suicide Prevention.
The booklet is a treasure trove of wisdom addressing issues
of suicide including the following:
· Awareness
· Warning
Signs
· Risk
Factors
· How
to Support Others
· Managing
Mental Health
· First
Responders & Peer Support
· Talking
About Suicide
Although the booklet is a wealth of knowledge, and these
issues deserve further study, let us focus on this excerpt from the section,
How to Support Others:
Evidence shows that providing support services, talking
about suicide, reducing access to means of self-harm and following up with
loved ones are just some of the actions we can all take to help others:
· If
someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, you should:
· Be
direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
· Listen
to their story. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept that they feel this way.
· Be
non-judgmental. Avoid debate about whether suicide is right or wrong, or
whether feelings are good or bad or the value of life.
· Get
involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
· Let
them know you care.
· Don’t
be sworn to secrecy. Seek support for
yourself and the person thinking of suicide.
· Assist
the person to make a plan involving trusted people and/or professionals to help
the person stay safe until they are no longer thinking of suicide.
· Offer
hope that alternatives are available, but do not discount their feelings by
saying things like, ‘You’ll feel better in no time.’
· Take
action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.
· Information
form NYC Health and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Resources for First Responders and Peer Support
Nationwide
International Association of Fire Fighters: Behavioral Health
“There is growing concern about behavioral health issues
in the fire service and the significant impact on wellness. The stresses faced
by fire fighters, paramedics and EMTs throughout the course of their careers –
incidents involving children, violence, inherent dangers of firefighting and
other potentially traumatic events – can have a cumulative impact on mental
health and well-being.”
The Twelve Steps of AA
“The relative success of the AA program seems to be due to
the fact that an alcoholic who no longer drinks has an exceptional faculty for 'reaching' and helping an uncontrolled drinker.
“In simplest form, the AA program operates when a recovered
alcoholic passes along the story of his or her own problem drinking, describes
the sobriety he or she has found in AA, and invites people who are new to AA to
join the informal Fellowship.
“The heart of the suggested program of personal recovery is
contained in Twelve Steps describing the experience of the earliest members of
the Society:”
1.
We admitted we were powerless over
alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.
Came to believe that a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.
Made a decision to turn our will and our
lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.
Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.
5.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to
another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.
Were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character.
7.
Humbly asked Him to remove our
shortcomings.
8.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed,
and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.
Made direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued
to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought
through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we
understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to
carry that out.
12. Having
had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
“People who are new to AA are not asked to accept or follow
these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.”
Narcotics Anonymous
“What is our message? The message is that an addict, any
addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to
live. Our message is hope and the promise is freedom.”
NA Program: “NA’s earliest self-titled pamphlet,
known among members as ‘the White Booklet,’ describes Narcotics Anonymous this
way: ‘NA is a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs
had become a major problem. We … meet regularly to help each other stay clean.
... We are not interested in what or how much you used ... but only in what you
want to do about your problem and how we can help.’”
Welcome to Narcotics Anonymous: “Welcome to your
first NA meeting. NA offers addicts a way to live drug-free. If you are not
sure you’re an addict, don’t worry about it; just keep coming to our meetings.
You will have all the time you need to make up your own mind.
“If you are like many of us when we attended our first NA
meeting, you may be feeling pretty nervous and think that everyone at the meeting
is focusing on you. If so, you are not the only one. Many of us have felt the
same way. It has been said, “If your stomach’s all tied up in knots, you’re
probably in the right place.” We often say that no one comes through the doors
of NA by mistake. Nonaddicted people don’t spend their time wondering if
they’re addicts. They don’t even think about it. If you’re wondering whether or
not you’re an addict, you might be one. Just allow yourself the time to listen
to us share about what it has been like for us. Perhaps you will hear something
that sounds familiar to you. It doesn’t matter whether or not you have used the
same drugs others mention. It is not important which drugs you used; you’re
welcome here if you want to stop using. Most addicts experience very similar
feelings, and it is in focusing on our similarities, rather than our
differences, that we are helpful to one another.”
Gambling Anonymous
FDNY Counseling Service Unit: Published References
“We can go to firehouses, sit down at kitchen tables and
talk with our members. Our peer program allows us to have eyes and ears in the
field, to be a bridge to the clinical services… ‘Often times, after one of
those visits, we get a call from a member saying they’re struggling with
something. That’s what’s amazing about the peer program. Without people
knocking on the door, letting our members know what’s available, they wouldn’t
come in for help.’”
FDNY Foundation Celebrates FDNY’s Counseling Services Unit
Suicide & Addiction
“After a recent IAFF behavioral health survey found that
many respondents among the association’s membership are reluctant to use mental
health services because of the stigma that’s attached to it, the FDNY
Counseling Service Unit (CSU) started an awareness campaign, including in
regard to suicide awareness. Suicide, which traditionally is rare in the fire
service, was on the rise.
“A role-playing scenario was set up for firehouse kitchens.
Members were taught how to handle other members who say that they “don’t want
to go on like this any longer” and have a plan to kill themselves. The key
here: Keep talking about the “s” word, suicide. Hopefully, that diffuses the
situation.
“FDNY Lt. Andrew Kane, who is the program director of the
CSU’s Addiction Transition Program (ATP), states that, because of the
ramifications of the tragedy of 9/11, the ATP was expanded. Addiction can be
symptomatic of other underlying behavioral health issues, suicide ideations
among them.” The FDNY Peer Program &
Behavioral Health by Charles Wagner for Firehouse
National Institute of Mental Health, Transforming the understanding and treatment of mental illness.
"The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the lead federal agency for research on mental disorders, offers basic information on mental disorders, a range of related topics, and the latest mental health research.
"It is not the intention of NIMH to provide specific medical advice, but rather to provide users with information to better understand their health and their diagnosed disorders. Consult with a qualified health care provider for diagnosis, treatment, and answers to your personal questions."
Traumatic Events and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Depression
About Vincent
Vincent J. Bove is a national speaker, author, and confidant on issues critical to America with 325 published works.His most recent of four books are Reawakening America © and Listen to Their Cries.©
Bove is recipient of the FBI Director's Community Leadership Award, former confidant of players from two world-champion New York Yankee teams, and served as spokesperson for a coalition of Virginia Tech tragedy victim's families.
He has been appointed Honorary Law Enforcement Motivational Speaker by the NYPD. In this role he addresses ethical leadership, building morale, emotional resiliency, and suicide prevention at NYPD events, roll calls, and in published works.
Bove has been an author for the National Association of Chiefs of Police for 15 years. He has over 60 published works, and an unprecedented 18 cover stories for their magazine.
Bove served the Bergen County Police Chiefs Association for 20 consecutive years as liaison and chairperson on policing leadership, violence prevention, and public safety issues.
He conducted Leadership Principles: Crisis Planning, Community Partnerships, Violence Prevention © keynotes to safeguard New York City at sites including:
· Museums hosted by the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA)
· Corporations hosted by The New York Stock Exchange
· Hospitals hosted by Rockefeller University
· Properties hosted by The Union Club of New York
· Universities hosted by Columbia University, the New York Athletic Club and Fordham University.
Bove has conducted extensive leadership presentations for the NYPD, FBI, the United States Military Academy, law enforcement, educators, security professionals, and students nationwide. vincentbove.com
“We must all serve as catalysts to protect our workplaces, schools, communities, public spaces, houses of worship, and one another.
Public safety demands leadership, vigilance, and collaboration.
"Security and personal safety demands comprehensive enhancements, on-going training, effective response to warning signs, and building bridges with law enforcement, private security, and every member of the community.” Vincent J Bove
Photos:
1. FDNY firefighters at 2910 Wallace Ave., Bronx, NY, Jan. 10, 2025 (Credit: FDNY Instagram)
2. NYPD / FDNY Operation Resiliency collage (RALLC)
3. Pray for Los Angeles (Public Domain)
4. Suicide Statistics. (Credit: First Help)
5. Bove Jan. 10, 2025 Survey Docs. (RALLC)
6. The Liberation Monument (RALLC)
7. FDNY collage / Hotline Information. (RALLC)
Bove Headshot
Vincent J. Bove, NYPD Headquarters presentation, Dec. 10, 2024. (Credit NYPD Detective Gustavo Rosado, Bronx District Attorney Squad, American Legion Post 460 Historian / Social Media Manager)
Labels: Collaborative Policing, Drugs, Education, Events, FDNY, Leadership, Mental Health, Presentations
